How to Figure Out What You Really Want in Life

Have you ever felt lost in life, like you’re wandering through a dense forest without a map or a compass? You’re not alone. Many of us struggle to figure out what we truly want and where we’re headed. But what if you could gain clarity on your desires and create a path to achieve them?

In this article, we’ll explore a simple yet powerful framework to help you discover what you really want in life. We’ll break it down into three essential steps: understanding where you are now, identifying your North Star, and creating a path to get there.

Step 1: Know Where You Are Now

Imagine you’re standing in a forest, surrounded by tall trees and winding paths. To find your way out, you need to know where you are right now. This is the first step in figuring out what you really want in life.

Take a moment to reflect on your current situation. Ask yourself:

• When it comes to work, what’s working and what’s not working?
• In my life, what’s working and what’s not working?

Write down your answers. This will help you gain clarity on your current situation and identify areas that need improvement.

For example, let’s say you’re a doctor working in a hospital. You might write:

• What’s working: I enjoy assisting in emergency cesarean sections, seeing patients on my own, and making management plans.
• What’s not working: I don’t look forward to going to work, I have a long commute, and I don’t get along with some colleagues.

Similarly, when it comes to your life, you might write:

• What’s working: I have a supportive family, I’m healthy, and I enjoy my hobbies.
• What’s not working: I feel stuck in my career, I’m not making progress on my personal goals, and I’m struggling with anxiety.

The Wheel of Life Exercise

Another way to assess where you are in life is to use the Wheel of Life exercise. Draw a circle and divide it into three components: work, health, and relationships. Then, sub-divide each component into three more areas. For example:

• Health: body, mind, and soul
• Relationships: romance, family, and friends
• Work: mission, money, and growth

Add a final category outside the wheel called “Joy.” Rate yourself from 0 to 10 on how aligned you feel in each area or how satisfied you are with your progress.

This exercise will help you identify areas where you’re doing well and areas that need improvement.

Looking Backwards to Look Forwards

The final exercise is to look backwards to look forwards. Think about what you want to be true about yourself 12 months from now. Write down your aspirations in the present tense, as if they’ve already happened. For example:

• I am a published author, having written a book I’m proud of.
• I have built the foundations of my business.
• I have lived in Austin for a bit.

This exercise will help you clarify your goals and create a sense of direction.

Step 2: Identify Your North Star

Your North Star is your guiding light, your purpose, and your passion. It’s what drives you and gives your life meaning. To identify your North Star, ask yourself:

• What are my values and priorities?
• What makes me come alive?
• What do I stand for?

Reflect on your past experiences, your strengths, and your passions. What have you enjoyed doing in the past? What are you good at? What do you care deeply about?

Step 3: Create a Path to Get There

Now that you know where you are and where you want to go, it’s time to create a path to get there. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Identify the resources you need, the obstacles you might face, and the support system you require.

Create a plan of action, and start taking small steps towards your goals. Celebrate your progress, and don’t be afraid to adjust your path as needed.

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Conclusion

Figuring out what you really want in life is a journey, not a destination. It takes time, reflection, and effort. But with the right tools and mindset, you can gain clarity on your desires and create a path to achieve them.

Remember, success and happiness are not one-size-fits-all. They’re personal and unique to each individual. By following these steps, you’ll be able to find your own North Star and create a life that truly reflects your values, passions, and aspirations.

So, take the first step today. Reflect on your current situation, identify your North Star, and create a path to get there. You got this!